DATING TRENDS

THE BAD NEWS: DATING RULES HAVE CHANGED
THE GOOD NEWS: YOU CAN UPDATE YOUR DATING SKILLS

By Irene Yarkoni

The rules of the dating game have changed for everyone. If you're single, in your 40's or 50's, and coming out of a relationship that lasted many years, you may wonder if this is the same world it was when you were dating in your 20's. If you're in your 30's, and have been dating on and off for a while, you must have noticed how difficult this game has become in the last few years. And if you're in your 20's perhaps you date by the new rules, but are you aware of the new roles?

Hunting is no longer men's exclusive territory. It's suddenly alright for women to ask men out on a date, and in singles' parties you often see girls doing the asking both for dances and telephone numbers. Quite a few women date abundantly, and are increasingly hesitant of becoming attached to any one man. Many men believe that they have become more mature about dating than some women are. Men in the new dating game feel more like the hunted, and at the mercy of a new genre of a super-woman they don't know how to handle. They don't understand what is expected of them, and therefore they are finding the ritual of dating confusing and to some degree threatening.

Women, too, after centuries of having no option to voice their true opinion, and after years of accumulating a "collective" hurt and anger, are bewildered by the numerous possibilities they now face to exercise their emerging confidence, independence and assertiveness. The new power that modern society has surrendered to women and the equal opportunities that have been opened to them have helped a lot of women make a tremendous progress in their professional life. However in their personal life, and in their relationships with men, disorientation and perplexity have often ruled.

What we have been witnessing in the last decade or two which is only now becoming obvious ­ can be best defined as confusion in gender roles. In courting or pursuing a relationship a lot of women have been showing drive and initiative (traditionally identified as male energy), and as a result, a lot of men have taken a more passive role.

This is the first part of the article: Take Charge of your Dating Life.
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